100 themes: Haruhi and Kyon
by the go-to guy
Summary: 100 drabbles and one-shots, all centered around the relationship between Haruhi and Kyon.
1. 63:Do not disturb

Hey everyone! I am officially starting a 100 themes challenge for Haruhi Suzumiya and Kyon! Updates will hopefully frequent, but don't quote me on that.

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63: Do not disturb

The wedding had gone off without a hitch; Kyon guessed that it was probably due to the fact that Haruhi had wanted it to be perfect. Now, if everything went according to plan, the honeymoon would be no different. They had just gotten to the room.

"Alright, that's far enough! Put me down now, Kyon!" Kyon sighed and complied.

"Good!" Haruhi exclaimed. "Now, are the bags here?"

"Yes…"

"Did you bring up everything else?"

"Yes…"

"Good job! One final test: Put the sign on the door!" Kyon sighed once again and went over to the door. He picked up the sign hanging on the doorknob and chuckled slightly when he saw what was written on it. He hung it up on the outside doorknob, then closed and locked the door.

Anyone who happened to be walking by would have seen the sign that Kyon hung on the outside:

_Do not disturb._


	2. 58:Kick in the head

58: Kick in the head

"Get up!" Kyon's sweet bliss of sleep was interrupted by the loud voice of Haruhi and a sharp pain on his head. He clattered out of his chair and landed on the floor, rubbing his head. He looked up and saw the bane of his existence (Haruhi) standing there with her hands on her hips and her leg raised. Koizumi was reclining in his chair with that stupid, smug little smile he always wore, Nagato had looked up from her book with that emotionless face, and Asahina was looking at him with a worried look. Kyon looked up at his attacker.

"Haruhi, why did you just kick me?"

"You were slacking! We can't have slackers in the SOS brigade!" Haruhi said, as if that explained everything.

_Then why don't you go after Koizumi?_ Kyon thought, but he would never say that out loud.

"C'mon, Kyon! We have work to do!" Haruhi turned and started walking towards the door, expecting him to follow. Knowing that he had no other choice, Kyon sighed, stood up, and followed her.


	3. 68:Hero

**68: Hero**

Kyon wasn't Haruhi's hero. No, he was the world's hero: keeping it safe from one Haruhi mood swing at a time. Instead of the traditional superheroes, his battles weren't fought physically; they were fought with words and consoling pats on the back when she was sad, and talking her down whenever she was too crazy. His battleground wasn't the streets of a city at night, or the rooftops; it was a (stolen) clubroom after school was over. His supporters weren't the adoring public; they were a slick yet sly esper, a busty yet airheaded time traveler, and an intelligent yet silent alien. It wasn't a position that he chose because he had some overwhelming desire to protect the world and the human race; it was a position that, for reasons still unknown, he was literally dragged into. And his problem was bigger than the comic book villains, mostly because of the fact that Haruhi wasn't aware of her power. However, there was one very, very important difference between the heroes who did all of the things that Kyon didn't do: they were fake. He was real. And that made all the difference in the world.


	4. 70:67

**70: 67%**

"Alright, Class! I have graded your tests from last week, and I will now be handing them back!" The teacher called out from the front of the class. Kyon just sighed and leaned forward onto his desk, displaying to everyone that he could care less. When the teacher came around to his desk and handed back his test, Kyon glanced at it then let it drift down to his desk, where it settled face up.

"Kyon, what is the meaning if this?" Came a loud shout from the desk behind him. Kyon sighed again. "67%? Are you trying to make the SOS brigade look bad?" Kyon could feel every pair of eyes suddenly become attracted to him like a magnet.

_Geez, Haruhi, think that you could shout it any louder?_

"This is a disgrace, and I will not allow you to embarrass the name of the Brigade any longer! Therefore, I will start tutoring you after school, effective immediately!" Kyon's eyes widened and his head whipped around to face the girl behind him. If it was anyone else, he would have said something to the contrary, would have denied it, but this was Haruhi, and he knew that anything he said would have been ignored, so he didn't even bother. He turned back to face the front of the room and avoided making eye contact with anyone. He heard some snickering, giggles, and whispers, and he groaned because he knew that a whole new set of rumors and lies had just been born.

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Hey! My longest one yet! I have a longer version that I might post at a later time, but I like the short one better. If you're interested in seeing it, let me know. Hope that you enjoyed!


	5. 78:Drink

**78: Drink**

"Haruhi, put the bottle down NOW!"

"Oh, don't be such a *HIC* party pooper Kyon! You've got to *HIC* live a little! Like me!"

"I think that you've lived enough for one night!" Indeed she had. It had been two years since the gang had graduated from high school, and even though they had apparently gone their separate ways, the SOS Brigade still met up at least once a month on the weekends. This time, Haruhi had gotten it iinto her head and bring some beer with her. She had had three bottles already, and Kyon seemed to be the only one trying to calm her down. The others were, as usual, sitting around watching. _At least some things never change… _Kyon thought sarcastically as he glared at the useless trio. His attention was returned to the matter at hand when the drunken Haruhi grabbed him in a hug.

"Kyooooon, there's a *HIC* secret that I've been *HIC* keeping from youuuuuuu…" She said, clearly dizzy. Kyon sighed, and decided that playing along was the best thing to do at this point.

"What?" he asked impatiently, wanting the night to just end already. Suddenly, Haruhi's head jerked up (Kyon was taller than her now) and her lips made contact with his. Kyon was stunned, and out of the corner of his eye he could see that the other three people were as well (at least Mikuru and Koizumi were; he still couldn't tell with Nagato). Just as Kyon got over the shock of Haruhi kissing him, she pulled away and let go of him, with that stupid, drunk smile still on her face.

"I've alllllllways wanted to do that!" She said as she took another swig from her bottle. Kyon stared at Haruhi.

_Did she really just do that? _He thought as he tried to take the bottle once again. One thing was for sure though: he was going to make sure that Haruhi brought alcohol more often.


	6. 48:Childhood

48: Childhood

Haruhi once told Kyon that once, when she was a child, her father took her to a baseball game, and it was there that she realized how insignificant she was in the grand scheme of the world. He had helped her understand that that simply wasn't true. When she and Kyon had a daughter if their own, and she started to feel the same way that her mother had, Haruhi made sure that she was there for her daughter.

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Sorry for the shortness, I just wanted to do a quick one.


	7. 19:Gray

19:Gray

Most people were either good or bad: a black or a white. But Haruhi was neither; she was a gray. Sometimes, the things that she unconsciously did with her powers to change the world were for her own good, and sometimes the things she did were for the greater good of others. This led Kyon to believe that Haruhi, as eccentric as she might have been, might indeed have a conscience. It just conveniently went silent when Haruhi needed to flirt with a newbie employee, or get a clubroom, or see if the new dress she had somehow gotten her hands on fit Mikuru. But it shouted loud and clear other times: when she was going to do something illegal, cheating, or harrasing anyone other than Kyon and Mikuru. And that was why she was a gray.

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Well. This one sucks, but I couldn't think of anything else.


	8. 59:No way out

59: No way out

(takes place during the end of book one)

Sleeping Beauty… he finally understood what they meant. There was no other way out of this strange world. He tried desperately to avoid it, make Haruhi snap out of it on her own. But she wouldn't: he had to do it. So, Kyon sucked it up, grabbed Haruhi, and kissed her. He told himself that it was for the world, and that he didn't enjoy it. He told himself that he didn't relish the way her lips felt against his.

But he knew that he was lying himself into a corner.

And soon, there would be no way out except the truth.


	9. 75:Mirror

75: Mirror

Haruhi looked at herself in the bathroom mirror at school. "It's always her." She said to herself. "He's always looking at her." She saw Kyon looking at Mikuru in that maid outfit every day. The reason that she had made Mikuru wear that damn costume was so that he would think less of her, but it had the opposite effect: he almost couldn't take his eyes off of her. She hated that. "It's never me he's looking at." She said mournfully. She looked in the mirror, and she saw a face that Kyon didn't want. The only way that she could even get his attention was to act crazy and drag him around everywhere; that was why she acted like that. And when he spoke to her, even if it was an argument, she relished in the fact that all of his attention was on her, and not that lucky girl with the big chest and lots of moe. Haruhi sighed and decided to give it another shot at club today. She gave herself a look-over one more time, then put on a happy face and marched out of the room.

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My first attempt at angst… probably sucks. Just thought about it and this came to me. Hope you like it!


	10. 1:Introduction

1: Introduction

If there was one thing that he (and probably the whole class) would always remember about her, it was the way that they first met. Her introduction, when she stood up in front of the whole class and exclaimed for all "aliens, espers, and time travelers to come and join me!" was the kind of moment that sort of stuck out like a sore thumb. By comparison, his introduction of himself to her was pretty crappy: "do you change your hair every day to keep away the aliens?", but it stuck out in her mind as the moment when she met not only her first member of the SOS Brigade and lapdog, it was also the first time that she met her future husband.

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Sorry about that last sentence. I'm a romantic at heart, and I couldn't resist.


	11. 31:Flowers

31: Flowers

At first glance, it was obvious that Haruhi Suzumiya was not your typical girl, and not just in the God-like-powers-that-can-destroy-everything-in-an-instant kind of way. She just didn't like to do things that girls did, and generally didn't like the same things that other girls did. As such, Kyon was having a rather difficult time choosing a one-year anniversary present. He couldn't get her jewelry because she didn't wear anything to accessorize other than that yellow headband that she used to put her hair in those damned ponytails that he loved so much, and he couldn't get her any chocolate because it was an absolutely _horrible _idea to let chocolate and Haruhi Suzumiya mix. That left only one thing: flowers, as cliché as they were. Kyon was currently on the verge of pulling his hair out trying to find the perfect bouquet. He had been at the florists' for hours, and he still had no idea what to choose. There were just too many choices! Roses, Daffodils, Lilly's, Petunias, Sunflowers! And each meant something different, so it was hard to find the right one. Suddenly, Kyon had an idea, and he felt like punching himself because he didn't realize it earlier. He called over the salesgirl.

"Have you decided what you want to buy sir?"

"Yes. I'll take one of each, please."

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Kyon arrived home a half-hour later to his typically fuming wife.

"There you are Kyon! Where have you been? You've been getting lazy haven't you? Well, that stinks because I have a ton of things for you to-"Haruhi's scolding was cut off by Kyon shoving his recent purchase into her face.

"Happy anniversary, Haruhi." She looked at the bouquet and snatched it away. She analyzed it, and seemed satisfied, but she wouldn't be Haruhi if she didn't critize everything.

"Why are there so many flowers?" She asked snippily. Kyon sighed.

"Well," he started, "I couldn't decide on a single flower that represented you best, so I just chose the flowers that made up everything that represented you; and since you're so many things, I just had to get a lot of flowers."

Haruhi looked at him, obviously torn. Suddenly, she dropped the flowers and glomped Kyon. They locked lips, and as they stumbled towards the bedroom, Kyon thought to himself: _I've got to buy flowers more often._


	12. 47:Creation

47: Creation

Koizumi and the group that he worked for claimed to believe that Haruhi Suzumiya created the world, but Kyon scoffed at the idea. After all, if Haruhi created the world, then why wasn't it full of espers, aliens, and time travelers? Well, it was, but Haruhi didn't know that they existed, so they might as well not exist. What Kyon DID believe was that Haruhi could create a new world if she wanted to; he had seen the evidence with his own eyes when he and Haruhi had been trapped in that grey world with the blue giants. What he was curious about was if she could create ordinary things, such as food (he quickly discovered that she could, against all expectations, cook edible food; the taste was a different matter). But the true moment of realization came as she lay in the hospital bed, cradling their new daughter in her arms. That was when he realized that Haruhi (with a little help from him) could indeed create beautiful things.


	13. 9:Drive

9: Drive

"I got it!" Shouted an (as usual) energetic Haruhi as she burst through the clubroom door, waving a small plastic card out in front of her. She started waving said item around, so the members of the SOS Brigade couldn't see what she was holding. Kyon didn't really care enough to ask, so Koizumi was the one who spoke up first.

"Got what, Suzumiya-san?" He asked without ever dropping his trademark creeper smile.

"My driver's license!" Haruhi exclaimed, grabbing the license with both hands. Kyon's eyes widened when he heard this, and he immediately straightened up in his chair. He knew that Haruhi had turned 16 a few days ago, but she hadn't mentioned anything about wanting a driver's license. Kyon couldn't imagine anything scarier than Haruhi being able to drive…except for the next question that Haruhi asked.

"Who wants to be my first passenger?"

Mikuru was the first to react. "Um, w-well, I'm not really a fan of driving Suzumiya-san." She nervously said. Yuki didn't say anything, but Haruhi ignored her anyway as she directed her gaze towards Koizumi, who didn't miss a beat as he said

"Sorry, Suzumiya-san, but I get carsick rather easily." Having Koizumi out of the picture, Haruhi looked towards Kyon, a devilish grin on her face.

"Actually, Haruhi, I don't really want to go-Ack!" Kyon's desperate pleading was cut off by Haruhi grabbing onto his tie and dragging him out of the room, not taking no for an answer.

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SCREECH!

The car skidded to a stop outside of the park that the brigade frequented, and inside of the car Kyon was holding onto the seatbelt for dear life. Haruhi driving had been a worse experience that he could have possibly imagined. She had breezed through the stop signs and red lights, skidded around pedestrians, and flipped off everyone that had a problem with it (including some of the local authorities). The only way that Haruhi could have passed her driving test, Kyon concluded, was because of her powers. Kyon scrambled out of the car as fast as he could and was about to kiss the ground when Haruhi got out of the driver's seat.

"Ah, here we are… C'mon Kyon! Now that I can drive we can stay at the park as long as we want to look for aliens, espers, and other strange things! C'mon slacker!" Haruhi was surprised when Kyon immediately replied with a "Yes, Chief." And dashed away, but just checked it off for him finally developing some enthusiasm.

But, in truth, he was just deathly scared of getting in the car with Haruhi again.


	14. 7:Heaven

7: Heaven

Kyon and Koizumi were the only ones in the clubroom, which was no surprise since it was so after nine on a Friday night. Kyon would have preferred to be at home as well, but Koizumi had called him back before he could leave.

"What do you want, Koizumi?" he asked, his obvious dislike of being here apparent in his voice. Koizumi just smiled. Kyon smiled, not expecting any less.

"Well, the organization has been asking some more questions and more theories have been popping up, and I just wanted to ask you some questions regarding Suzumiya-san, since you-"

"Are the closest to her, I know." Kyon completed Koizumi's sentence, having heard it all before. "Go ahead and ask; I want to go home."

"Do you think that there is an afterlife?" Kyon blinked in surprise.

"What?" he asked, not understanding the question.

"Do you think that there is an afterlife?"

"… What does that have to do with Haruhi?"

"Well, if Suzumiya-san believes in the afterlife, then there is an afterlife. The organization was curious, so I wondering if she ever mentioned anything to you."

Kyon searched his memory for anything, but he didn't come up with anything. "No, she hasn't." He said. Koizumi seemed disappointed, but he still didn't drop his smile, so there was no way to be sure.

"Well, then, have a nice weekend Kyon." He said, getting up and walking out of the room. Kyon soon followed, but he couldn't get the prospect of an afterlife out of his head.

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He couldn't believe that he was doing this, especially with Haruhi. Just because of Koizumi and that stupid organization that he worked for, he couldn't stop himself from picking up the phone and calling Haruhi to ask about the afterlife. He just hoped that she wouldn't pick up, so that he could just set the phone down and forget that he ever called-

"Hello?"

Damn.

"Um…Hey, Haruhi."

"Kyon? Is that you?"

"Er, yeah, Haruhi, it is."

"Why the hack are you calling me?"

"I just wanted to uh, ask you a question."

"What? Kyon, if it is about copying off my homework than the answer is no!"

"Haruhi, I don't want to copy off of your homework; I was just wondering if you believed in the afterlife."

"What?"

"I know that it's random, but I was just curious."

"…"

"Right… I thought it was a stupid question… Goodb-"

"Yes."

"Wait, you do?"

"Yes, I do. But not two of them."

"What do you mean two of them?"

"You idiot! I mean Heaven and Hell! I only belive in Heaven!"

"Ummm… Okay… Why?"

"Because only good people have an afterlife!"

"Er, explain please."

"Idiot! You have to earn the right to an afterlife! And if you actually do enough to earn one, you obviously deserve to go to Heaven! Duh!"

"…"

"What? Was that too complex for your feeble mind to understand?"

"No, it makes perfect sense…"

"Good! Is there anything else that you wanted to ask me?"

"No…"

CLICK bmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….

Kyon stared at the phone, surprised. Not at the fact that she hung up on him, but at the fact that she could be so… deep. He shrugged. Oh, well. One of the things that he loved about Haruhi was her ability to surprise him anyway.

And at least now he had an answer for Koizumi.

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I feel like this is slightly OOC. Haruhi is really hard to write for…


End file.
